Today I was browsing around Facebook checking out pics; one of the things I love most about these social networking sites is that there's a constant record, be it good or bad, of our lives. And I gotta say, I never get tired of marveling at the transformation my body has made over the past year. While I dropped some weight here and there, the real journey toward change (with a legit level of commitment) started one year ago in August of 2010. Hard to believe that just 12 short months ago I was like 80 lbs heavier, struggling to "jog" from one pole to the next. When I finished my first 5k at the end of September it was one of the most prideful moments of my life. I guess I look back at those pictures and I can't even imagine going back to that place in my life. It's a hilarious but really scary reminder as to how bad things can get if you let your life get out of control. The first picture I posted on here is from my little bro's wedding on July 17, 2010--a little over a year ago.. the second is from my friend's wedding this year on July 2, almost a year apart.... YIKES.... lol
Speaking of control, I finally feel like I'm getting some balance back into my life--part of that has to do with the fact that my new kitchen is FINALLY free of power tools, and part of it is because I have some pretty legit looking bruises on my legs as a result of being back into Crossfit. I was talking to one of the girls in class last night about Crossfit/diet/weight loss, and I realized something really important came from my past month of sloth.. not only did I gain an understanding for how important CF is to me, but I also stopped obsessing over the scale and over every bit of food that goes into my mouth. That doesn't mean I have any desire to eat like an asshole, bc I just feel better when I eat paleo at least 90% of the time.. but it does mean I can enjoy dessert or a piece of pizza once in awhile and not beat myself up over it or gain 10 lbs as a result. It's not about the scale for me anymore... it's about how I feel. CF'ing makes me feel confident, strong and solid--I could literally feel my body composition turning to sludge over the past month. Okay, maybe I was just paranoid and a little dramatic, but still.. it could happen. At any rate it gave me enough perspective and a better level of understanding and control over myself mentally to salvage what little sanity I have left.
This summer has been ridiculous between the house and the other random bullshit I've had going on in my life. Change and transition is never easy, but thankfully it has gone more smoothly than I ever expected for us in the huge changes we've been going through, especially the past month. Now that August is already starting to fly by (WTF!?), I'm trying to mentally prepare myself for law school. The thought alone is a little daunting, but I think as long as I can maintain a solid routine things will be fine. I feel really lucky to have a great family to help with Connor, and Kev around to help with the kids on the weekends. The key to getting my life together is going to be routine and keeping my priorities in line, so hopefully I can keep that on lock without going completely bat-shit insane... wish me luck!