Thursday, February 23, 2012

When you least expect it

I am one of the realest (is that even a word?) people you will ever meet. I don't fudge my personality for anyone, I am who I am, like it or leave it--either you love me or you hate me and I make no apologies for it. You see me at work, the gym, out with friends, scrubbin it up in my sweats at Walmart (okay let's be honest, I look like that pretty much anywhere I go).. I'm putting on the same face and saying the same inappropriate sh*t no matter where I go. I feel like it's part of my charm, or occasionally one of my less than charming attributes... but on the upside you don't have to worry about me being a fake a-hole to you either. I have a gung-ho attitude even though most of the time I jump in head first and find out the water is only eh 3 feet deep or so. That's just how I roll. I give a lot to the people who mean the most in my life and apparently choose a lot of shitty people because my returns have been a lot of fuck overs as of late.

But amidst all the bullshit I've come across, there is one thing I've come to depend on--my family. Not just the family I was born into, but the family I've chosen for myself... my friends, and my Crossfit fam. Admittedly I'm the wayward child in both outfits, always flittering off into the abyss and doing my own thing til I realize I'm off the beaten path screwing things up for myself once again, and somehow every time I come back to welcoming arms. When I least expect it (but most need it) someone always seems to come along and be the hero; it's never the likely source either.

Whether it's a text from Ash E telling me to get my ass to the gym, or a random phone call when I'm at my lowest, she always has my back. Mark has never once been hesitant to call me out on my bullshit when necessary. And based on his incredibly positive attitude and motivation in and out of the gym, I have no doubt Matt is going to make a great coach as well. So many of my fellow CF'ers have become adversaries on my worst days--for that I am thankful. It's those little, unsolicited efforts that matter most when you're at rock-bottom. Sometimes we expect more from people because we know we would do that much for them. I've been having a hard time finding that kind of support outside of the gym lately. It is my center and my solace, a little slice of sanity in this fucked up life. Crossfit is my sanctuary, as I think it might be for many of us. Feels good to be home again.

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