Tuesday, July 2, 2013

Can't


How I feel today===>

I got my first unbanded pull-up on Sunday. After two years of Crossfit (albeit inconsistent), I was finally able to get my chin over that damn bar. I just jumped up there like I always do to give it a few unsuccessful attempts and nailed it on the first try. Cleared that mother by a couple inches even! It was exciting, and I'm not ashamed to admit that I almost cried. Triumphs like that make you thirsty for more.

I've been examining my own efforts a lot more closely as of late, trying to really decide whether I'm pushing as hard as I can every day, every WOD, every time. Scrutiny is necessary sometimes to keep yourself honest, and I've mentally "no rep'd" myself more in the past couple weeks than I probably ever have in my entire Crossfit career. You can't tell yourself lies and expect to get staggering results.

How many times have you done something half-assed and called it good enough? Too many to count.

How many times have you used the word "can't" as a crutch? Can't is my favorite, because that eliminates any possibility of even trying. Can't keeps you from failure because if you already know you can't then you don't have to try. Can't also keeps you from success. Can't is a cop-out.

I don't do handstands well.. something about going at the wall head first just freaks me out and the first few times I tried, my arms just buckled out of fear. Fuck that, my head and neck don't deserve that kind of abuse so I said to hell with it. I struggled with pull-ups for two years with minimal results. I ate a box once and I haven't done a max-height box jump since. Notice a pattern anyone? Choosing mediocrity has left me with what I consider to be mediocre results. Sometimes you just have to get out of your own way.

I never tried to climb the rope before, just assumed it wasn't going to happen because of the array of other shit I haven't been able to do so why try right? And then one day I asked for help and I'll be damned if I didn't scale that thing like it was my job. Sunday I went in to do a WOD incredibly hungover and told Matt I "just knew" I couldn't do most of the movements at the weight he had prescribed... And then I proceeded to do them all Rx, followed by my first pull-up and then 5 more. Today I did my first unmodified WOD with pull-ups, and I've never been more proud to have hands that are ripped to shit.

(Okay, maybe not that bad..... but they were sketchy enough to make Todd gaggy hah)

Can't has been a cement block chained to my legs for so long. It makes me think about all the times I didn't do something just because I assumed I couldn't, or because I didn't want to fail and look stupid. But I'm quickly learning that the old adage is true--You can't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.

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